DOPEY FUCK !

What a moron this guy is . This genius is Apollo Braun, a hacky clothing designer who came up with these retarded tshirts .

Why does he have pictures all over his wall? He is like a 14 year old girl . How many Bop magazines did it take to cover that wall ? I think I see a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman joint centerfold right behind him .

( Not pictured is his fave Josh Hartnett Comforter and sheets set !!!! )

This guy is the worst . He looks like a tranny on their day off .

I think that mullet came with the hat when he bought it .

We Make Blog Now

It only took us two years, but we finally created a blog.  The big hold up was trying to decipher that stupid security code in order to setup the account.  You know, this thing:

Seriously, what the hell is that?  Kitten?  Moqtada?  Labia?  It took us two solid years with our best men looking into it to finally figure it out.  We lost three of them to scurvy in the process.  They were good men and so young, and our hearts go out to their families.  Sure, there was no need for us to deprive them of vitamin C, but ultimately it was worth it for us to be able to post weekly dick jokes for our loyal fans.

So get ready for a steady stream of our thoughts, mispeelings, and incorrect grammar as Don't Touch Me There brings you the insights of our bitter team of nerdy writers.  You'll be glad you did, irregardless of who you are.